Vir Cantium

I'm right, you know …

It’s the Conference Freebie Generation Game

So I’m back from Manchester. It will probably be my last party conference, partly for the reasons covered by Tim Montgomerie over at ConHome. I’ll blog more about that in the next couple of days.

However, on a lighter note, one thing that does make conference a little more worthwhile (and helps to placate Mrs C on my return) is the haul of free stuff that the more experienced conference-goer can amass. This something that I suspect applies to all the major conferences (perhaps my UKIP friends can compare with the experience at their own – ahem – more intimate bash). This year was particularly good, making the inventory sound like that old TV standard the Generation Game:

A cuddly toy. Not a freebie.

  • A pen that lights up when you write
  • A pencil (that doesn’t)
  • Two alternative lanyards: one Boris and one NASUWT – guess which one got worn
  • A large fridge-magnetic/clip
  • A pack of travel tissues
  • A couple of small notepads
  • A security pass ‘yo-yo’ clip
  • A couple of rubbers, for the children of course (stop looking so shocked, you septics, and learn proper English)
  • An LED mini torch key-ring
  • A yo-yo
  • A pound coin substitute key-ring (for shopping trolleys)
  • An LED imitation tea-light candle
  • A mini-football launcher/catcher game
  • A chunky ruler
  • A solar-powered calculator with transparent keypad
  • Blueberry muffins (still sealed – aren’t I good?)
  • Various biscuits (ditto)
  • Some chocolate (errm…)
  • A kite. Yes, a proper kite.
  • A sturdy canvas bag.
  • A cuddly toy

Comments about free-loading politicians in the usual place, please.


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