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Category Archives: Ken Livingstone

Livingstone: Look, I Came Here For a Good Argument

At the risk of appearing a Livingstone obsessive, I though I’d post a transcript of Ken’s first appearance today as a presenter on LBC radio.

(Errrm, it may not be entirely verbatim, but you’ll get the general idea of how it sounded!)

Ken Livingstone (for it is he): “Hi, this is Ken Livingstone here on LBC. Phone me, text me, or email me, and be as rude as you like.”

Caller 1: “Hi Ken. I’d just like to say what a tragic shame it was that you lost. I compare it to the assassination of Allende in Chile by the evil American Empire, or the rise of Hitler perhaps.”

KL: “Oh dear, how embarrassing. This isn’t a set up, honest. We’d better find someone to criticise me otherwise they’ll complain that we’re not balanced.”

Caller 2: “Hi Ken, I’d like to say congratulations to you on getting a larger vote this time than you’ve ever had before.”

KL: “Errm, thanks, but we’re going to have the authorities onto us because we’re not finding any callers to have a go at me.

Monty Python - The Argument Sketch

“By the way, we asked Boris Johnson if he wants to come on and have a good argument, but haven’t heard back.”

Caller 3: “Ken, mate, I think you could do no wrong. I was so upset when you lost.”

KL: “I’m going to have to cut you off there, surely there’s someone out there who wants to argue with me. Incidentally, if Andrew Gilligan’s listening, he could call in if he thinks he’s hard enough.

Caller 4: “Ken, I’ve got a few points for you. I think you are an anti-semite and a paranoid fascist. Let me go through each of those.”

KL: “OK, fine. This is more like it.”

Caller 4: “Right then. That you’re paranoid. I say this because… police … bbxzxt.”

KL: “Sorry caller, you’re breaking up. Oh well, time for the travel news.”

(Time passes).

Ken: Thanks there to Dave Spart in Neasden. By the way, we did invite God onto the programme, but we haven’t heard back from the big beardy coward.

OK, so now for a few more accurate nuggets (again from memory .. what? I do have to work y’know):

Andrew Hosken (unofficial biographer): “So, would you run for Mayor again?”

KL: “Well, if there was a by-election – I mean, if Boris was arrested and carted off, as he should be – then yes I’d like to do it.”

On the US embassy not paying their congestion charge:

Cuddly Ken: “If I could I’d have directed the police to crush the ambassador’s car … with the ambassador still in it.”

Caller: “Why don’t you have a go at other countries … like the Nigerians for instance?”

KL: “Well, the Nigerians have never paid anyway.” (So that’s alright then?)